I know we all have trials. I know that we are all young flowers waiting for our adversity to pass so that we can blossom; However, I think I am a flower trying to bloom but I am under a foot of concrete cement where someone else decided to create a parking lot or sidewalk. Lately I have felt the weight of the cement crushing me from growing. I have found that I don't want to go out with friends, go to family functions or well pretty much anywhere unless it's just my little family (Ben, Katy, Lyse and I). Wanna know the main reason why? Money.
I feel like the "we are poor" routine is OLD! It's also REALLY REALLY hard watching those around us enjoying new homes, looking for new homes, new toys, etc.
We most likely will be filing bankruptcy unless a new amazing paying job lands in Ben's lap.
HOWEVER, tonight I went to an AMAZING work function and I realized something.
I am blessed. I truly love my job. It is an EXCELLENT job. I went from being a stay at home mom with little to no work experience and only an Associates Degree to working for a company as a reservations agent and now in a supervisory position within 7 months. Not many places allow you this opportunity.
I know it is not only the company...it's Heavenly Father's plan. I know He has intervened and helped.
Tonight I feel blessed. No I can't buy toys, pay all my bills (and right now even purchase food) and well money is more than just "tight". Yet we have food on our table. We still have a roof over our heads. Yes it is highly possible that Ben's loosing his job will cause us to have to file bankruptcy but as I was told today by an amazing person -- there IS life after bankruptcy. It doesn't have to define you. You just have to realize sometimes crappy things happen and it's your attitude through it all that makes the difference.
So here is to yet another attitude change. I know our trials are not easy but no one's trials are. That is what makes us grow and blossom. There is a reason when you are walking through a parking lot you can always find the flower that made it through the cement...it made it through it's adversity. I can be that flower. I can blossom. I just have to have the Lord, my eternal sweetheart and my kids on my side!!
Bankruptcy, ouch! And I totally agree with you that while knowing that adversity helps in the long run, actually going through it is terribly difficult.
ReplyDeleteI can literally trace every bit of stress in my life to lack of money. Money is truly the root of evil, and it's frustrating. Why is it that some people have ALL the money, and some people have none? I think it should balance out a little better.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you're able to keep a positive outlook though. That's very commendable.
Don't read today's post then :( It's hard to stay positive all the time. Although I must admit I do feel MUCH better after venting...lot less tears in the last few hours! I am a perfectionist and trying to be and act perfect all the time is VERY time consuming! :)
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