It always amazes me how pictures can say one word when in reality the truth behind the pictures is completely different.
For example:
I see this picture I just think carefree wonderful day at the beach with family bonding!
Want to know the story behind it? It is much much sadder! I was trying to CREATE a carefree day because the day before this Ben had been layed off. I was stressed beyond stress. I was sitting on the beach thinking "What the heck are we going to do?!?" I wanted to cry but instead decided to try my hardest to just find peace and happiness. I look at these pictures and I can see happiness and carefree and I actually see very little heart ache. Amazing how even 5 months can change the reality of what the day was!
That is what I want to do today. I want to run away to the ocean and feel the cool breeze, warm water and peace you find at the ocean. I don't want to face the reality of bills coming due on Friday and us plain and simply not having enough money for them. I hate the reality of working and working and not seeing our dreams anywhere in the future.
For today I just have to just dream of the ocean and creating another carefree day because school has started and we have a responsibility to the kids to help them get the best education they can get. Hope for a future in which they don't have to struggle for every penny like we have had to for the last 2 years. I pray it works. I pray we can just get our break.
Honestly my true dream picture is my family looking down the street of our new home and it looks something like this:
Trust me my current digs have no such view from the front yard! To dream and dream!!!
For now I am so grateful I have what I have. I have 2 beautiful daughters that I love more than I could ever express and a husband that I would give anything and everything to keep for eternity! My life is blessed. Many of my pictures from this last few years show fun, wonderful events and it is interesting to look at those pictures and to remember how I felt inside during them but before I remember it all, I look at the picture and think, "Man that was a fun experience!" I am kinda glad that the memory of what was going on in your head while taking the picture fades so that only the good from the picture is remembered!!
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