Lots and Lots of Dirt!!! - *updated with pictures!!

*Sorry all the pictures are posted first - it is just too complicated to put them throughout the post. For this reason, I most likely will be switching back to my wordpress account. No positives as of yet but a lot of probables!! :)

On Sunday August 8, we went to my parents house for a inpromptu family dinner. Saturday night my parents called and asked us to go over with the rest of the family for dinner following Katy's baptism. I was so grateful they offered because I had wanted to do a meal but finances had not afforded it!

It was fun to sit and visit with my family for a while. While there my brother told us he was going to their property in the Uintas (East Fork of the Bear area) on Wednesday for the weekend and he asked us if we wanted to join them. OF COURSE we wanted too...we just weren't sure if we could make it all fall together right and have the money to do it!

We talked and arranged and figured it all out and decided we could do it (my parents helped us a bit with the gas). We borrowed Ben's parents 4 wheelers and we headed up in a truck caravan with Bret, my parents and us.

What an amazing few days we had!!! We left on Wednesday August 11. When we got up there and finally got into our beds for the night, we watched bats flying over and swooping down to eat bugs. I LOVED that it was nice enough weather that no rain cover was needed on the tent. The stars were INCREDIBLE! It was so amazing and we had so much fun lying there watching the shooting stars and bats!

The next day Ben and I got up and started breakfast. After we had breakfast finished up, we loaded up all the 4 wheelers and headed off for a fun day of adventure in the Uintas. I suggested we take everything for lunch and have a picnic along the way (since one of my in-laws 4 wheelers has a bunch of holding compartments on the 4-wheeler...carrying the picnic was pretty easy).

As the five (5) 4-wheelers headed out with all 9 of us on them, I knew we were in for an adventure! As we drove down the winding, bumpy dirt road we saw the first adventure - several deer in the field...even some fawns! The kids were ecstatic! We continued on and up, through river beds and incredible forests and landscape!

I think the funnest place along the trail was the bridge we crossed over the wide river (I think it was the East Fork of the Bear). There is just something about water in the mountains and how it cascades down...LOVELY!!

We ended up at Lilly Lake. What an amazing beautiful spot!!! It was 11:30 and you could see huge fish jumping all around the lake. There were lilies growing along the banks and duck families could be found swimming through the lilies. The girls (Katy, Elyse and Addie) were CONVINCED they needed a lily flower to take home. Bret and Ben worked on it for a while and I ended up out on a rotting log in the lake with wet feet fetching the lily flowers!

The girls LOVED watching the fish swim up and stare at them. Seriously - the fish would swim up close to the bank and sit there and watch us like, "What are those creatures and why are they not in this cool, refreshing abyss?"

After spending some time enjoying the lake, we headed back to the river where there was a picnic table. Lunch was fun and the girls LOVED the river and sandy banks. Everyone enjoyed sitting and talking while taking in the beauties around us.

When we got back to camp, we started the dutch oven dinners and loaded up the 4-wheelers with the guns for some target practice. During this time my mom also decided to teach each of the girls how to drive her 4-wheeler! Oh how the girls had soooo much fun. Katy got REALLY good at driving those machines. She almost had the roads memorized and knew where she could gun it and where she needed to lay low on the accelerator. What a smartie pants! I guess we will have to go and get the ATV license for her!!

Dinner was amazing, delicious and fantastic! Bret and Nat did an awesome job. Bedtime came on a lot earlier on Thursday night than it did on Wednesday! I set an alarm to wake me up at 1:00 am so I could watch the meteor shower and I was out! When the alarm went off, I could have sworn I had only been sleeping for 10 minutes..even though I know it was more like 3 1/2 hours!

The next morning I got up and started taking down camp. I rolled up all the sleeping bags and got the mattresses all put away while Natalie cooked breakfast. After breakfast was over, Ben took down the tent and then we headed out to play on the 4-wheelers for a bit. We saw some deer again and then went down to the lodge and I bought each of the girls an otter pop.

After playing some more on the 4-wheelers (including Dustin's little one)...we decided to roast some hot dogs then get headed home. The hot dogs were delicious!!! Each of the kids wanted to ride the little 4 wheeler so Bret put them on a little 4-wheeler path. Katy did ok the first time but the second time she got distracted (something was hurting her leg) and she bent over while still driving and well you guessed it - she crashed!!! She didn't get hurt really...just some scraps but she was scared plenty! I took her back on the 4-wheeler and we checked out her leg. As she told me about her crash, she turned to me with her eyes wide and said, "It was a good thing that tree was there to stop me!" I held back a laugh and smiled and said, "Ya it was a good thing it wasn't a standing tree...just a log!"

Being the mean mom I am, I made her get back on the little 4 wheeler and drive around the circle as I ran next to her. I didn't want to end the trip with her scared of the little 4-wheeler.

After her turn was up, I hoped on Dustin's little bike. After a couple solo go rounds, Lyse and I drove the circle a couple times. Ben hoped on his parents red 4-wheeler and my mom was on her green one with Addie. We played follow the leader in a figure 8 for a couple go rounds.

The kids really did have a blast! It was so hard to finish it up and load the 4-wheelers up. We decided to have Ben drive the trailer down while I drove the girls down on the 4-wheeler 1 last time. The kids were all super sad when it was over and the 4-wheelers were loaded on the trailer!!

Aunt Nat asked Katy if she would come up again and Katy said, "Ya can we make it real soon?". They LOVED it up there. Getting Lyse to eat was nigh impossible because she was just having too much fun playing in the dirt, getting dirty and enjoying the outdoors!

I love camping! I love that we got the opportunity to go up and enjoy a couple days! It was so much fun and honestly it was fairly cheap (my parents helped us with the gas)!!! We filled up the 4 wheelers and truck before heading up and then filled up the 4 wheelers again before returning them (that was $8) and the truck was returned with more gas than it had when we borrowed it. I was amazed that after riding those machines basically NON-stop for 2 days, we only went through $8 in gas!!! Seriously, I was amazed that after the initial purchase of 4-wheelers...they are pretty cheap machines to operate and enjoy!! One day I would LOVE to purchase some of our own!!!!

Today I am a bit sad that summer is almost over. Camping for the summer is most likely over. This next week will be spent getting back into routines since school starts on the 24th (the week after next). While I am excited for summer to be winding down, I am extremely sad!!! It has been an amazing summer filled with adventures in the mountains! I am so grateful we have had these opportunities all summer long!!!!

I also learned something while on this little get-away...I LOVE to hike!! As we were riding 4-wheeler up to Lake Lily I thought a lot about how the scenery was passing by so quickly and I realized that I love to hike trails and spent time enjoying the scenery passing while also getting some exercise! Who would have thought I would actually enjoying hiking more than 4-wheeling in mountainous terrain?!?!

Katy's Baptism

I don't know how to even put into words the events of today! I can guarantee the words I do use are going to be many because today has been Spiritual, amazing, outstanding and terrific.

Today Katy was baptized.

Katy has been and will always be an amazing example. She is born a little missionary. Today she talked to her cousins that have not been baptized (either by choice or due to age) and made sure to ask each of them to think about doing it.

The day started off totally chaotic! The people to open the church and start the font never showed up!!! So at 8:00 this morning I was frantically calling around trying to find and get in touch with someone who could help us. I finally was able to get in touch with President Walker and he drove over and opened up the church for us. Ben stayed at the church while the font was filled.

Once the font was filled Ben headed home where I was trying to bake cinnamon rolls, frost cinnamon rolls, get myself ready, get Katy ready, get Elyse ready, make sure all the milks were in the cooler and all the baptism stuff put in a pile to be loaded into the car once Ben got here. It was CRAZY!!

As we loaded up the car and drove the LONG way to the Stake Center (the quickest and fastest way was BLOCKED due to Midvale Harvest Days Parade) I was frazzled. I said a quick, silent prayer asking for me to have peace and help bring the Spirit and the peace that comes with the comforter.

When we got to the church I was SOOO grateful for the Spirit cause I would have burst into tears had I not had peace that it would be okay. We were doing a brunch before the baptism in the Stake Pavilion and the sprinklers were on DRENCHING that same place! I could NOT believe it. The Spirit brought peace and I simply told Ben and the girls we would go in and practice our song and come out in a few. It was only 9:30 and the Brunch was set to start at 10:00.

After practicing the song for a bit we went back out and water was still sprinkling around all except a few tables. People were starting to arrive and I had NO clue how I was going to feed the masses with no where to feed them. I made an executive decision and just started unloading the car full of food onto the few tables that were not getting drenched in water. I was so grateful for family members that were willing to laugh and roll with the punches as they dodged water sprays while filling their plate with food!

At about 10:45 I took Katy and Lyse into the church and changed Lyse into her dress and Katy into her baptismal suit. There are certain times as a mom that your heart is full...that was one of them! My heart was so full as I watched my girl walk around in her all white jump suit. What a HUGE day in her life this was.

The program was as follows:

Conducting: Brother Mike Peterson
Pianist: Sister Becca Staker
Chorister: Shaylece Smith

Opening Song: Army of Helaman
Opening Prayer: Shaylece Smith
Talk on Baptism: Debbie Hawker
Song: "A Child's Prayer" by Katy and Tauni Hawker (more on this later)
Talk on Holy Ghost: Launa Smith

Baptism of Katlynn Ivie Hawker by her dad Benjamin Dee Hawker
Witnesses: Kevin Whitear Smith & Duane Kummer

Primary Remarks by Becca Staker
Stake Primary Remarks by Karen Carin

Song: "I am a Child of God" by Katy, Elyse and their cousins

Bishopric Remarks by Bishop Grant Pullan

Closing Song: I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
Closing Prayer: Erin Sare

Katy was the one that made all the decisions in regards to who was doing what and when. The only thing that we changed was Bart was unable to be at the baptism and so we asked my uncle Duane if he would be a witness. Both Bret and Jason were there but we didn't want them to feel left out when one was asked and the other was not...so we just went the neutral ground! :) The other thing I changed was Katy wanted her cousins to sing "Army of Helaman". I agreed up until Friday when I realized that Katy didn't know the words that well which meant each of the other kids would also struggle. I decided to just switch the opening song of "I am a child of God" with "Army of Helaman"...all the kids know "I am a child of God".

The talk by Debbie was wonderful and she did a great job of talking about baptism and the importance of it all. Once she was done, it was Katy and my turn to sing. As we got up, I could sense that Katy was nervous. I told her to hold my hand and if she needed help with her part to just squeeze and it would be ok! I was the one that needed her help in the end! She sang like a pro and it was GORGEOUS. That girl has a voice and it is beautiful!!! When it came to my part to sing I BARELY got the words "Pray He is there, Speak He" and I just lost it. I couldn't sing anymore. I tried but I was overcome with emotion.

I wish I could say what emotion it was exactly I just felt so many. My baby was being baptized, my baby had just sang beautifully, my baby was picking up and singing where I was struggling. All those things played a HUGE part. Another part was the Spirit. The Spirit was so strong! As I looked out on all the people in our lives that we love so much and their eyes were filled with tears, I lost it again completely! I tried to pull it together for the 3rd verse in which Katy sang "Heavenly Father are you Really there?" While I sang, "Pray He is there" but I just couldn't do it. My mom, sister and Ben all stepped in and helped. What amazing, supportive family I have!! Katy sang like I pro and I bawled like a baby while squeezing her hand.

Even while I write this I feel those emotions and I remember the Spirit. I KNOW our Father in Heaven was so proud of Katy and her decision to be baptized. The Spirit testified of that!

When I asked Ben to describe his experience while we were singing and his perspective on the baptism as a whole, he said,
"I don't know. It was pretty Spiritual. Katy was really cute with it. Katy was trying really hard but she made a couple mistake. She would forget where she was at and the only times you were able to get words out was when you were prompting her (this was during the 3rd verse). While baptizing her I was trying to get the words right (in English) and not translate them to Portuguese. It was a great experience. It was very special and it was touching. She was excited about it which made it a greater experience for me. I don't know but I felt a lot of love for that little girl."

After Katy was baptized I took her back into the dressing room and got her out of the cold, wet clothes (the font got cold fast I guess). Katy was freezing so I fixed her hair a bit while she was wrapped in the HUGE white towel my mom had given her. I got her dressed in her beautiful butterfly dress and then I gave her the special baptism necklace that Ben and I had purchased for her a few days before. She loved the necklace and put it on immediately.

We walked out and finished the program. All the cousins singing, "I am a child of God" was beautiful and touching! What sweet kids that I love with all my heart! Becca Staker got choked up as she mentioned the Spirit she had felt that day and how grateful she was to have felt that Spirit. She said 2 very specific times were: when Katy and I were singing and then when Katy was baptized. I would have to agree 100% with her on both of those! Those were the 2 times I felt the Spirit the VERY strongest...testifying to me the truthfulness of the gospel and the Happiness our Father in Heaven felt in the decisions Katy was and is making.

Bishop Pullan said a couple things about how wonderful Katy was. He challenged her to write down the day and to try and read her scriptures daily and then the meeting closed. It was VERY touching and very Spiritual. What a beautiful girl my Father in Heaven has blessed me with!

The hardest part of the day for me was balancing family, friends and helping Katy balance out the same! Everyone being there for my special girl and trying to make them all feel loved and welcome was more of a challenge than I originally thought it would be. I hope they all know how much I appreciate and love them! Today would not have been the same if we had not had such amazing family and friends to share it with!

Here is a list of all the people that came today: Ben (Dad), Tauni (Mom), Elyse, Grandpa Kevin Smith, Grandma Launa Smith, Grandma Debbie Hawker, Aunt Shay, Uncle Bret, Aunt Nat, Addison, Aunt Nanner (Jana), Uncle Darin, Brooklyn, Dustin, Uncle Jason, Aunt Hazel, Keira, Aunt Ethney, Kellie, Spencer, Isaac, Eric, Aunt Erin, Uncle Tony, Ethan, Oakley, Aunt Jan Kummer, Uncle Duane Kummer, Aunt LeAnn Smith, Andrea Brown, Andrew Brown, Hadley Brown, Audrey Jacobsen, Becca Staker, Morgan Staker, Karen Carin (stake primary pres.), Bro. Mike Peterson, Tami Peterson, Tanner Peterson, Alex Peterson, Sophie Peterson, Peyton Peterson, Bishop Grant Pullan and I know a couple more people snuck in but that was all I was able to get down on paper!

Katy was blessed with many gifts from many of the people. She got: a porcelain girl praying (Bret, Nat and Addie); $5 and a card (Aunt Jan and Uncle Duane); a necklace, bracelet, $40 and a book (Aunt LeAnn); A Jenny Phillips Book and CD (Audrey Jacobsen); Book of Mormon with picture from day of baptism (Karen Carin, stake Primary); CTR ring with birthstone (Grandma and Grandpa Smith); CTR ring, journal and Primary Song Book (Jason, Hazel and Keira) and then of course the necklace from Ben and I. Aunt LeAnn gave the same necklace so Katy went an exchanged the necklace from LeAnn for a mustard seed necklace (a mustard seed inside a glass/plastic casing put on a necklace). I am only writing what she got because I want to have a record of WHY these items are important! Katy is surrounded by people that LOVE and ADORE her! What a HUGE blessing she has been in so many lives, not just ours! I hope and pray she will always be the amazing example she has been thus far in her life!

Today Katy said after her baptism, "You know that feeling inside when you feel like you are going to cry but it isn't cause you are sad at all? I have that feeling today!" I think she summed it up perfectly!!!

And last but not least, an "I told you so" moment for me and overall just funny experience from the day. Ben mentioned he wished he had remembered to bring DRY garments for after. See the night before I asked him to put all his stuff he was taking in the pile with all the other clothes. He said no he would just get it in the morning to which I said I was afraid we would forget important stuff if we didn't get them in the pile. He was tired and so instead we went to bed and put off getting his stuff for the morning. Well as I mentioned above our morning was CRAZY - I didn't have time to even think about Ben's clothes so he grabbed everything as we ran out to the car...I figured it was all there. It wasn't! After baptizing Katy he wringed dry his garments and put back on the cold, wet ones. Poor guy...never did say I told you so - just didn't feel right at the time...HOWEVER totally gonna say it now ;)

Growing Up

As Katy is turning 8, I am having quite the plethora of feelings!

On one hand:

I am soooo excited for her to grow up. I love seeing her make good decisions. I LOVE that she is getting baptized. I am excited for her to experience life!

On the other hand:

I hate that my baby is growing up! I hate that she doesn't have to be my friend or want to be around me. I hate that the baby I held in my arms is now a big girl that likes loves but wants to run off and play with friends.

I am FAR from the perfect mom...but I try! I try to keep it even and fair. Katy tonight was in tears that she had to walk in the house and didn't get carried. Growing up is hard! I have always heard that...what I didn't realize is that it is hard on the mom and dad too!

Tonight I go to bed with a 7 year old tucked away in her bed...tomorrow I wake up to an 8 year old! I swear it was only yesterday that we were giving a first bath to her at midnight! In many ways I wish I could go back with the knowledge I have now and enjoy that time more. I wish I could have breathed in all in more!

I hope I can move forward in the future with more love, compassion and awareness that it is only a split second and they are grown up! This year more than ever, I really hope and pray my girl wants me as a friend, a confidante and a mom! I hope just like I want a friendship with my mom...she will want a friendship with me! I need to be better about giving that to her now so that when she is 30 and has kids of her own, she will want to spend that time with me!!!

Happy Birthday Baby! You are sooo loved and adored! Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for being so good! Thank you for being my baby and letting me be your mom!