Monday, July 26, 2010
As Katy is turning 8, I am having quite the plethora of feelings!
On one hand:
I am soooo excited for her to grow up. I love seeing her make good decisions. I LOVE that she is getting baptized. I am excited for her to experience life!
On the other hand:
I hate that my baby is growing up! I hate that she doesn't have to be my friend or want to be around me. I hate that the baby I held in my arms is now a big girl that likes loves but wants to run off and play with friends.
I am FAR from the perfect mom...but I try! I try to keep it even and fair. Katy tonight was in tears that she had to walk in the house and didn't get carried. Growing up is hard! I have always heard that...what I didn't realize is that it is hard on the mom and dad too!
Tonight I go to bed with a 7 year old tucked away in her bed...tomorrow I wake up to an 8 year old! I swear it was only yesterday that we were giving a first bath to her at midnight! In many ways I wish I could go back with the knowledge I have now and enjoy that time more. I wish I could have breathed in all in more!
I hope I can move forward in the future with more love, compassion and awareness that it is only a split second and they are grown up! This year more than ever, I really hope and pray my girl wants me as a friend, a confidante and a mom! I hope just like I want a friendship with my mom...she will want a friendship with me! I need to be better about giving that to her now so that when she is 30 and has kids of her own, she will want to spend that time with me!!!
Happy Birthday Baby! You are sooo loved and adored! Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for being so good! Thank you for being my baby and letting me be your mom!