Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 30

Today ends my month of gratitude postings. Although, I might try and keeping doing this just because it is great!!

Today I am grateful for life. My life. It is not always easy. It is not always fun. I do have fun times. I do have easier times. I grow, I learn. My life is blessed with so many amazing people. My husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my parent in-laws, my sibling in-laws, my ward, my friends, my co-workers. I have so much to be grateful for!

I love the quote, "Life is the messy bits!" It is so true. You can't know true happiness if you haven't had to experiences true sorrow. I am so grateful for a Father in Heaven that is there in thick and thin and willing to help with all of my messy bits of life.

I am grateful I took this month to try and focus on gratitude. This month has not been easy but it has been easier as I have had to each day come up with something to be grateful for. It made me think each day about positive gratitudes.

I am thankful for my life. I am blessed.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 29

Today I am grateful for friends and friendships. I am grateful we have people in this world that care about us and our lives. My life is blessed with MANY great people that are friends. Thank you friends!!!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 28

Today I am grateful for Christmas Trees. I love their glow, warmth and happiness they provide!!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 27

I am grateful the the healing and spiritual power of music. I am grateful it brightens my life. I am grateful for the way it touches my soul. I am grateful for uplifting, fun, energetic, spiritual...all the music that brightens my day and soul.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 26

Today I am grateful for the Christmas season and the joy it brings. I love watching my kids eyes light up as they see Christmas decorations start to go up. There is a true magic to Christmas and I know it comes because we are celebrating the birth of the most amazing person to ever walk the earth, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 25

Today I am grateful for fun family traditions (even if it involves LARGE crowds, LONG lines and little sleep on the day after Thanksgiving).

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 24

Today I am going to say I am grateful for holidays in which both Ben and I are off work and the kids are out of school. Days that start with baking pies and you have dancing in the kitchen and living room that follow. I love dancing with my husband and of the greatest joys and best things in the world.

I am grateful for Ben, Katy and Lyse and that we can have fun as a family (even when Lyse gets a black eye because she walks behind me as I am swing dancing with Katy).

I am grateful for life - my life with my beautiful little family.

Here is Lyse's black eye :( Poor thing!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 23

Today I am grateful for a living prophet that leads and guides our church. My life is deeply blessed with his priesthood power, kindness, guidance and love.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 22

Today I am grateful for the sunrise and sunset. I love beautiful sunrises and sunsets (although I must admit I do experience more sunsets than sunrises and I normally take more time to appreciate the sunset more than the sunrise). I love the beauty it creates in the sky, clouds and surrounding mountains.

Isn't it great that no matter how crappy the day goes, Heavenly Father always wants to start it off and end it with beauty?

Even a bad day ends with a beautiful sunset. What a blessing!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 21

Today I am grateful for modern conveniences such as WASHERS AND DRYERS! Yes those need to be in caps cause would you live without them?!? I heart them lots and lots!! Today as laundry is almost done it makes me think what a great thing we have in this modern convenience!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 20

Today I want to state my Gratitude to a God that truly loves and knows each one of us. I am so grateful that I have a Father in Heaven that knows me and what I need more than anyone else ever could (even though I try at times to tell him that I know what is best ;) ). I am grateful he answers prayers, sends tender mercies and gives me constant peace.

I am grateful He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to earth to die for my sins so that I might return to my Father in Heaven one day.

I am grateful to my elder brother, Jesus Christ, for his willingness to come to earth and live as the perfect example to us and then die for our sins. I take his sacrifice for granted a LOT more than I should. I hope I learn and grow and stop doing that and start learning. I am so grateful that He gave me that opportunity to be able to learn, grow and become a better person.

I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I am blessed and even on bad days I am trying to see and show that I know I am blessed. I am thankful for the blessings in my life. I know that many of them have come as tender mercies from my Father in Heaven.

Month of Gratitude day 19

I am grateful that I have family. There are many in this world that do not have the luxury of having a loving, caring family. My life has been blessed with this. I am blessed.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 18

I found something. I am grateful my girls cleaned their room. It is a blessing and a big one!

Gratitude shouldn't be this hard

Today I am having a hard time with this. I know it should not be this hard, yet here I am stuck in the situation of it being hard.

It has been a tough bit.




You name it and I am worried about and over it. I am overwhelmed, underwhelmed and all the in between. It's pretty hard being grateful when you are in that situation but I am trying.

This morning I sat and thought and thought and thought of what I am grateful for. I could name things but nothing just rang deep down true.

I am loosing and have lost so much that my lines are blurred (mostly by tears) and I am not really sure what to do or where to go. The people I love most, many truly have no incline of how I am really doing or how hard life is right now. I have support yet at the same time I don't. I know everyone wants to support me but how can they when by trying to support and ask it only makes matters worse and makes me feel like crap.

I swear if I hear, "You will never be homeless" one more time! lol No seriously, I will be! I won't be in a shelter on the street homeless. I will always have somewhere to STAY but that is the difference. It's a place to STAY not a place to call HOME.

The saying, "Home is where the heart is" is so true but what if you have given and given and given until you just don't have a heart any more? What does that do for my children and creating a home for them? I fear they have lost that security this last 2 years, especially this last year and last 6 months.

I am trying to hold the dual roll of stay at home mom and working mom and as of late I have been working full time hours and trying to still fulfill both roles. Then you add church and trying to do visiting teaching, callings and service to others. I just don't have more to give yet I don't have choices but to continue to try and keep all the balls in the air. It is starting to feel like I am juggling several bowling balls that keep growing and growing. Some days they feel the size of boulders.

I have lost me.

I have lost my husband.

For the first time EVER, Ben informed me the other night he couldn't keep doing it. The girls were crying and fighting, I was working, dinner was cooked but not on the table because I was working. Ben had just got off work of his 16 hour day. He walked in the door to the fighting, lost it on both the girls within 5 minutes. In turn I took personal time from work to settle the girls and ask him to please not yell...he walked back out the door. Later I was told he contemplated just not walking back. Ben is just as overwhelmed with juggling boulders.

I want my husband back.

I want a life back. My life.

Ya it's gotten that bad.

There is just plain and simply too much on our plates and I just don't know where, how or WHAT I can do to change it. I work more and it helps the finances and kills the house having any order, the kids getting homework done, the family life and my sanity. I work less and it kills the finances and my sanity. I give up on it all? I am trying to work more so Ben can work less but that just creates bitter feelings. I work less and Ben still works the same and finances crash. All around we are loosing.

I am trying so hard to find things each day that I am grateful for. I am trying to bring gratitude into my life more. Today it just isn't least not right now. I have spent a LONG time on my knees this morning praying, begging and pleading. The day seems to get dimmer and gloomier as time goes by. I am looking for gratitude in things I won't loose because so much is being lost right now. It terrifies me that the only things I do have left are being torn apart by the things I am loosing.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 17

Today I am grateful to have a job. I am grateful for that I have been able to work a lot of hours this week (even though I feel like it might kill me) and that it has allowed me the opportunity to have some money to provide Christmas for my family. I am blessed.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 16

Today I am grateful that I have girls. I love that they like girly things like twirly dresses and painting their nails. I love that Lyse got up at 645 this morning as I was getting ready to sign into work and she brushed through my hair - felt so nice! I love that they look forward to our year end tradition of going and getting pedicures together at the end of the school year. I am grateful for girls to do girly things with!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 15

Today I am grateful for fun fall clothes. I love fall wardrobes. I love the colors. The sweaters. The boots! I love the fall wardrobe...wish I could really get away with it longer but I find I can usually only get away with wearing my boots for 6-7 months a year :( wish it could be more!! Sweaters I am able to manage to get to use at least 9 months a year! The colors I MAKE work year round cause I LOVE THEM!!!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 14

Today I am grateful for friends. Friends really do make this world and life a lot better with laughs, smiles, tears and hugs!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13

Ya I am behind. My computer was down for a while and I have been super duper ally uper BUSY!

So here is my list:

Day 7: I am grateful for my mountains....oh how I love them!

Day 8: I am grateful for working computers and internet. Seriously my life has so much technology between working from home and needing the internet to paying bills online (and of course some facebook). It's very much a part of daily life.

Day 9: I am grateful for a washer and dryer that work and are in my house. Seriously, I am so glad I don't have to do the laudromat or parents house. Been there done that. Blessing to not have to!

Day 10: Grateful for Organization skills. I love to organize and I love that I have the ability to look at a room and know what to do and how to organize!

Day 11: I am grateful to live in the United States and experience freedom. It is a great blessing.

Day 12: I am grateful for pets. Even though at times my cats are pains (like 5 in the morning when they want me up to play with them).

Day 13: I am grateful for phones. It is so nice that no matter if your family is across the world or across town...we have the ability to talk and keep in touch! Love it!

Whew made it through. Sorry been so far behind. I will try not to do this again but can't guarantee especially since I have 40 hours of work this week!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 6

10 years ago today, Ben and I made the BEST decision in the world. 10 years ago today Ben and I were married for all time and eternity in the Salt Lake City Temple.

Today, I am grateful for 3 things that go hand in hand in hand. I am grateful for Ben (my love), I am grateful for our marriage and I am grateful for the Temple which allowed us to be sealed for all time and eternity.

I do not know how I lucked out with the ying to my yang. Ben and I really do even each other out pretty good. When I am a mess, he is put together. When I feel the weight of the world and my knees start to buckle from it, he is their to take it and help me stand.

I am so grateful for the good and the bad in the last 10 years because it has truly strengthened us and our marriage.

I love you Ben! I am so grateful that we both wake up each day to each other. Thank you for sticking with me for the last 10 years. Hoping for another 60 here on earth and of course, eternity here after!

Month of Gratitude Day 5

Today I am grateful for beach and oceans! Seriously, I think I would like California and Nevada to fall off into the ocean in an earth quake just so I can stay in my great Salt Lake Valley with my Rocky Mountains AND have the ocean! (I would just have to have prior knowledge of this so that I could get every person, animal and living creature out of those states so that they didn't fall into the ocean too...cause than it wouldn't be so great!)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 4

Today I am posting my gratitude post early. We are headed out for the start of our 10 year wedding anniversary!! YAY!!!

Today I am grateful for airplanes! Think how much they have influenced and changed almost everyone's life for the better. They allow travel all over the world in hours rather than weeks, months and possibly even years!

Month of Gratitude Day 3

I had to think for a bit about what I wanted to put here today. When you start listing things you are grateful for your list can go on for miles and miles. Today I had to think of something that makes me smile and feel warm inside. I thought of it when I saw a cute picture frame hanging with a picture of my daughter and her teacher on Halloween. We also had parent teacher conferences last night and that brought me to think of what I am grateful for today.

I am grateful for good teachers.

At church my kids have the most amazing primary teachers. Katy's teachers (Brother and Sister Dorian) do parties, makes class fun and encourages the kids to help get other children in the area to church. I am so sad they are leaving (especially Sis. Dorian). He got a job in Texas so they are moving there and Katy (and me) are very sad. Sister Dorian has helped to teach Katy a lot of important things and she has been a great influence and role model to Katy.

At school, Katy ADORES her teacher (and honestly so do I). Her teacher is kind, gentle, loving and always willing to help Katy so that she can do her best and succeed in life. Katy could not have gotten a better teacher and I love her dearly. She has really helped Katy to grow and develop so many talents this year. I am grateful for Mrs. Smith. She is a wonderful woman that is truly helping me by being a great example to my daughter each and every day. I couldn't pick a better person to have instructing my daughter for 7 hours 5 days a week. I love that she truly lives what she believes. She has the Spirit with her and she always as a CTR ring on her finger. I honestly could not give enough positive feedback on how wonderful Mrs. Smith is. I am so grateful that my daughter is in her watchful care!

In Primary Katy has Bro. and Sis. Jensen. AMAZING people! Love them. They are happy, cheerful and kind. They do an amazing job with what can be a quite rowdy bunch of kids. Lyse loves her teachers and all the fun activities they bring for the kids as well as the great lessons they teach. Honestly, I have been looking forward to Lyse moving up to their class because they weren't put in until after Katy had already been in that class. I hoped and prayed they wouldn't get tired or a new calling before Lyse was able to have these wonderful teachers.

Elyse's teacher at school really likes Elyse and she is working hard to help Elyse succeed. Lyse loves to learn and is honestly excited each day to go to school. I am grateful that she is learning and growing. We had a rough start but honestly I think the year is just getting better and better and Mrs. Gregory really does love her students. Lyse is happy and does great with the positive feedback she gets from Mrs. Gregory.

MY life is blessed by my children having great teachers.

I am grateful for great teachers!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Month of Gratitude Day 2

Today I am grateful for blankets, quilts, etc!

Homemade are the best but even nice soft throw blankets are great!!!

There is NOTHING better than snuggling up in a warm thick blanket (especially when it is freezing outside). It just feels great. I especially love it when I get to snuggle in the blanket with my hubby and/or kids!

We have a favorite blanket around is the one Ben's mom made for his bed when he was younger. It is the PERFECT blanket!

Mountains in the Fall!

On October 23, 2011 we went up Little Cottonwood Canyon. It was a blast. Ben, Katy, Lyse and myself along with Jana, Brookie and Dustin came. The original plan was to hike to Cecret Lake in the Albion Basin. They already had the road to that area closed off, so our plans had to change. We drove down a little ways to the Tanner Flat area. We ate a little picnic lunch (and climbed an apple tree next to our picnic table and ate an apple that had grown in the wild - yummy!).

After we ate lunch we tromped around and through the woods a bit. It was GREAT! We crossed the river to the other side for a while. It was a great adventure and we all had a blast! I seriously love a hike in the mountains more than just about anything out doorsy. I love to camp in them, hike in them...everything. It is VERY enjoyable!

We were going to grab our camera and forgot last minute so we only had Ben's phone. Jana took her camera and I am going to have to get some photos from her but for now these are all I have (and Ben isn't in any of them)!

Katy's balancing act!

Lyse would not give a happy non silly face! The mountain air must make her a silly monkey!

Testing her balance...

Doing good, only a little further!

Phew, she made it! :)

Silly girls!

Not sure what face I am pulling here or why...but oh well. It was my errr what?!?!

You can see me and Katy pretty good but you have to peak way far in the back to pick out that Elyse of ours!

How can you not smile in those beautiful mountains?!?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween and Month of Gratitude Day 1

This month I am going to post something each day that I am grateful for. Before I can state my simple "I am thankful for" I need to also share my Halloween night story!

I am always Grateful for the large, HUGE blessings in my life that my husband and children bring. I would always love to start off with those.

Last night watching my kids Trick or Treat I of course fell in love with watching the joy it brought them. The simple pleasures of being a family. We piled in the back of my parents pickup truck with blankets and drove the kids to each circle. Mainly it was out of my lack of energy to walk the ENTIRE neighborhood but oh how the kids loved it and had fun. My sister and her 2 kids, my brother, his wife and daughter than Ben, me and the girls were there. Later my other brother let his little girl join us. It was a riot and blast having the 9-10 of us in the back of that truck. GREAT memories!!!

It was so fun to watch Lyse literally RUN from house to house in excitement. Katy LOVED getting to ride in the back of the truck which is usually off limits. I really enjoyed when Ben gave up the drivers seat and joined me in the back. All the adults sat and talked as the kids ran from house to house and we slowly followed. It was great. If 1 kid got tired for a bit they would come ride along, regain energy then off they would run once their energy was regained. is one of the greatest ways to do trick or treating with a large group of kids that have a wide age range.

Other groups would say, "hey smart idea!". One little boy watched us and turned to his mom and said, "Hey mom they are cheating!" Best comment of the night. We cheated at trick or treating I guess!

We watched and smiled and watched more the joy of the kids running house to house.

We laughed and pretended scared as an adult dressed up as a scary scarecrow with pumpkin head "chased" after the truck full of kids. The truck killed out and was unable to move (its a clutch and yes it was all in fun). Seriously soooo fun!

At one point Katy fell and got hurt. She climbed onto my lap in the back and we snuggled for a bit. I joked with her she needed to convince a cousin to take her bag up to each door with them so she didn't miss out on the treats. We smiled and laughed and she stayed on my lap for another 5 minutes or so. As I reached for a treat in her bag I realized her bag WAS missing! As I searched through the blankets for it, my sweet niece Brooklyn hopped back into the back of the truck with the bag. She heard us and decided to do just that for her cousin. As she climbed in she had a story to tell! She was appalled and laughing. When I asked what happened she told this story (realize she is 12 and looks about 14).

"I went to the door, said trick or treat and I was the last of the group left. All the other kids left me. I put out my bag and she gave me a HUGE handful of candy bars. I had Katy's bag cause I didn't want her to miss out on the candy cause of being hurt. I pulled out my second bag and said trick or treat and before I could explain it was my cousins bag that old lady gave me the NASTIEST look and took 1 candy bar out of her bowl and put it in my bag and just glared. I was going to explain it was for my cousin and the whole situation but I looked at that lady and thought to myself "nope she wont believe me anyway whatever' so I just walked off"

I haven't laughed that hard in AGES. Seriously, my stomach and abs hurt from laughing so hard! I keep thinking of this little old lady handing out candy. I would think of what she must of thought. I realize the truth of it. I laughed even harder. Oh man alive, it still brings a smile to my face and makes me want to laugh! Priceless I tell ya!

The weather was great, the company was wonderful. It was an amazing Halloween! We ended the night at my neighbors spook alley. We got lost in his maze (it was ingenious the way he had it designed...super smart!!)

It was a great night. I think I might clue the "old lady" my niece "duped" in on the whole story. I actually really know her and I think she would get a GREAT laugh out of it, knowing the full story!

Anyway - so now to finish the post with the reason I even started it.


This month is a month of gratitude so each day I am going to try and come here and state something that I am grateful for. I am always grateful for my husband, kids, family. So I am going to try and go outside the box. Find little things that make me happy.

Today - Hot Chocolate! It warms you up and there is just something about it that makes you HAPPY! After great weather last night, today SNOW came! It has been mighty COLD. For breakfast I had a piece of toast and hot chocolate. Man alive that tasted delicious. It also warmed me up! It was great!!