Thursday, February 23, 2012

Answered prayers

Please know when reading this, I have had to learn how to use a tablet for all internet needs. It has been horible timing and I am not that great at it. I miss my keyboard and typing horribly...money does not allow for a replacement computer, so this tablet is something I must get used to. Sorry forspelling errors in advance. I know there will be many but I dont have a back button nor do I have a mouse...as I said...its been an adventure.

I am exhausted but after 3 hours of lying in bed with not even the slightest incling of sleep, I finally got up.

There is so much going on. My days are filled with running and packing and I have been trying to throw work in there to. Add in my laptop dying, my work computer being new and havibg tech issues and life and well you find no blog update. To add to the mix of moving, we also had to find a new car.

I realized tonight how truly blessed I am. As we drove home after finding ourew car, I sat in awe thinking of the prayer...that prayer...the one given several months ago when all was falling apart. Never would I have imagined or seen or predicted the blessings.

We found the car we needed and wanted in the price range we needed. We have a beautiful new home we m9ve into this week. Heavenly Father heard and answered my prayers.

Friday, February 17, 2012

So undecided

I can't make up my mind. I have a decision made, talk it over with Ben, type it here on the blog...and it changes!

Seriously, there is so much craziness right now, you just don't know what to do or believe! Next week I had traded all my work schedule to be off so I could go to NY with some co-workers. Well I cancelled the trip because of the move and figured I would just pick up hours throughout the week.

Well, the house will be closing this week so it made me start thinking. This is the ONLY time I have off work already in which I don't have to worry about trading my schedule. I could use this week and just pack up my entire house. We could move this next weekend, following my week off work, and get it all over and done with.

Yes the house wouldn't be painted and completely fixed up like I want but Ben and I can and will do that once we live there too!

It so many ways it would help UNCOMPLICATE things. Right now it is so complicated and the thought of living here, working here and having kids go to school at Brookwood and then driving out to Herriman to the house and working on it overwhelms me. An hour and a half is taken each day to get kids to and from school. Now add that we will be driving to and from Herriman after that to work on the house, that is 2 1/2 - 3 hours of my life EVERY DAY in the car just driving from one place to the next. It could be 3 1/2-4 hours if traffic was bad and I decided to drive out there on my own after taking them to school than picking them up and driving back out to the house. Not. Worth. It!

If we move in now, the walls will still have dings in them, the doors (interior bedroom doors) will still need fixed, the house won't be in perfect condition,there will be work that needs done...but we can do it! The fact that the girls will be walking to school and walking home and all the while I can work and/or work on the house is a huge blessing and bonus. The house is DEFINITELY in liveable condition, just not pristine, perfect condition.

I have decided...I can live with that. I can live with when people walk through while helping us move in that there are things that need done. I am ok with it not being perfect right now but over the next few days, weeks, months and years getting it there.

I am ready to move. I am ready for this drawn out process to be over.

Moving day is back to the 25th :)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The big debate!

So plans have changed a little on date of moving. I think we are going to spend some time getting it cleaned and a couple things done and then move in...so we are looking the first week of March.

I have a big debate right now. Do we put in the time to paint it all while it is empty and just get it done or do we wait and do it once moved in. Part of me just wants to get into the house, the other part wants to get it painted and put together so when we move it, it's ready to live in.

Money plays a factor into it all. It is EXPENSIVE to paint!!! I mean it is one of the quickest and cheapest home repairs but it takes money still. Do we do it or not?

This has been my debate. I will probably be mulling it over until next week sometime :)

Monday, February 13, 2012

The plan for now is to move on Saturday the 25th (as long as everything closes correctly and when we want it to).

I am so excited for our new home. I don't even know what I am going to do with all that extra space!!!! Ok I do but honestly, it will be so nice to be able to move around. It will be so nice to clean and have a place for everything. It is going to be so nice to not have my bedroom be a bedroom, office, instrument, craft storage, misc other item room. The hiking gear is not going to be stored in my dresser, it will have a place in the garage (or one of our great closets). My work may stay in the bedroom but that is more because the only other location would be the basement and I would rather have it in my room. Difference here is - I have a choice and if I don't like it, I can move it to another room!

I am so excited for the girls room. I have often wondered if it is Lyse or Katy who is the messier of the 2. We live in such closed quarters and honestly I can't go in the room and know for sure who did what. That will change! They will each have their OWN bedroom. They will be completely 100% in charge of that room cleaning all on their own. I am so excited to see how this works out. I am excited for them to have their own space to sprawl out!

A yard! I am so excited to get to have a yard of our own! I look forward to mowing the lawn. I am trying to currently save enough money so we can have a trampoline. I am giddy with the thoughts of this summer and the fun slip and slides, pools and other summer fun we get to have in our yard. I look forward to a BBQ and eating outside. Gotta save up and get some outdoor seating too. Luckily, yard sales and KSL are my friend (not to forget my mom has saved a way cute patio table for us).

Ben is just as excited about this move as I am. He is chomping at the bit of having a place of our own in which the building is not physically attached to another family's home. He is excited to be able to set up his tools in the garage and actually have them in useable condition. I am excited for him for this!

We have been so blessed. This home is a huge blessing and I am so excited for it. I know it is going to take some effort to get it clean. I know it is going to take some time and work in the little things that need done around the house. I am excited to get to do some fix up and making this home our own.

The girls are excited and giddy over picking out the bedroom wall color. I am excited for a master bathroom that I get to paint and make for Ben and I. I am excited for our new home.

I will miss our condo. We have put a lot of work in this place. We have worked hard to make it nice. I will miss how quickly I can have it cleaned. Currently, I can go from disaster to spotless in under 2 1/2 hours. If it's clean, it goes from clean to spotless in about an hour. That I know will change. You can't double to square footage and not expect more cleaning; however, in some ways it will be easier. Due to not being so cramped and confined, having more room to spread out, I am hoping it is a little easier. Yes I will have more bathrooms to clean, more rooms to vacuum and a bigger kitchen to mop and sweep but sometimes if you are in too small a place you clean more frequently cause it takes less to make it look cluttered and dirty. At least this is my hope!

Tomorrow we get to walk through the house again! YAY!!! I am ecstatic to walk through our home again. They have also said they would give us keys so we can go in and start cleaning. I am good with that!!! We are also going to start patching (there are a couple holes in walls) and prepping for paint. As soon as that place is signed for (hopefully on the 22nd) we are gonna pull out the paint and get the girls rooms painted and the master bath painted. Not a ton of painting is going into it...but we are going to do that bit. It's much easier to do that with no furniture than tons of furniture. The painting may be the only thing that moves the move in date back 1 week.

I am so excited - can you tell?!? I can go on and on and on. This little bit is for me. I needed to share. Now I need to go get my little place cleaned and soon, very soon, I gotta start PACKING! YAY for our new home!!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Updates

Updates on our life:

Yes we are still moving. Yes I am excited. Yes we are moving to that perfect little house in Herriman. Yes I still have to pinch myself to believe it is real.

Soon...hopefully REALLY soon...we will be able to take our picture in front of it and say "home" as the title. We are under contract with it so hopefully that day will be in the next 30 days! :) YAY!!!

Life at home is going. We are staying busy. I am trying to figure out how I am going to move at the same time I am working. They REALLY do not want us working from the center (they are remodeling and there is not enough room). We are going to have to get it all arranged to have phone and internet connected before we even move from this place so that I can work.

I am planning each new thing with this house and getting more and more excited. I don't know how to even react to so much more room. The fact that the girls will each have their own room, plus a play room AND an extra room? WOW! We have never lived in anything bigger than a 2 bedroom apartment or condo. We have never had more than 900 sq feet. It will be soooo nice to spread out!

Ben's work is going well and he is working on getting his IT certifications. Once he has those, he will have experience enough to look for something that pays better. We are hopeful that it all comes together shortly.

I think that is about all. Currently our lives pretty much revolve around the girls and their school, the new house and moving and then Ben and my jobs. We are also on the search for a new car. Wowza that is a fun one (not)! That is our life in an updated nutshell for now.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Family of 4 err maybe 5?

I want a baby.

I have not hidden the fact that I want another baby. I want to snuggle, love and shower love on another little one in our home.

A few weeks ago I finally made the decision that I FEEL another one that is meant to come to our family. I have prayed, pondered and thought about this for such a long time. I still feel that there is another spirit meant to come to our family.

When I talked to Ben about this he agreed. Awhile later we were at his parents house he joked about not wanting another. I lost it. Not that I didn't know he was joking. I was fairly certain he was HOWEVER he had mentioned the same concerns to me previously as the reason he didn't want another.

Sleepless nights
Diaper changing
Toddler proofing the house
More work and preparation for events (such as camping or 4-wheeling)

I don't know why I lost it on him and told him "if he didn't want another the place to tell me was not at his parents house". I was REALLY defensive about it.

I want another baby. Ben is completely supportive of me in this. We even went to the doctor to start getting all my woman stuff fixed so that we can even have the possibility of having another. Ben came and sat with me through it.

My dilemma? I am not 100% convince that this is what Ben wants. I highly question if he truly wants another or if he is just supporting me because he knows that is my heart's desire. I know part of it is he is afraid of getting hurt again. Each pregnancy that ended in miscarriage has killed him as much as me. Each failed attempt at pregnancy each month wasn't only emotional on me, it took a toll on him too.

I am moving forward but with apprehension because I don't know fully where he stands. I wonder at times if he is just torn (because I know I am at times). 2 kids that are older definitely makes life easier. The kids go off and play and we can do our own thing. When we go to Trafalga, camping, hiking or 4-wheeling...it is simple and easy. We have a system and it works good...but then my heart feels that additional one and I know that our system is not complete. I know we have another that needs to come to us. I know I need to do all in my power to help that little Spirit have their chance on earth.

Another hard part is work. I refuse to make my mom a babysitter. I refuse to make my mother in law a babysitter. I can't afford to quit. If we have another little one - how on earth are we going to make it work? I can't afford a babysitter either! I guess this is where faith comes in. I need to have faith that my Father in Heaven is going to lead and guide our family. He will produce the correct situation for our family as long as we continue and follow his plan.