Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Messiness Ghost Hauntings

I have been working extra hard in our house the last few weeks to stay on top of and go a little further in keeping it spotless.

Does it stay that way?


In all reality though, I have actually enjoyed the routine.  It has helped to make me not feel trapped with not having a 2nd vehicle and Ben having no choice but to have a car every day at work.

I do feel lonely though.  I wish I could just go to lunch with friends and have the money, time and transportation to get there.

As I clean I think, "maybe this will make it that people can come over and see my house so clean" and when I think that I think at the same time, "oh no but I still have..."

It has become an obsession.  I don't want it to be but I just keep thinking of the next thing.

Our craft room (aka the green room) and the toy room in the basement have haunted me for months now.  They kept getting dirtier and more unorganized.  I knew they needed time but it was so easy to be like, "Oh they are in the basement" and since we have no huge real reason to go down there, I didn't.  Yet it haunted me.  The clutter.  The mess.  The fact that I would be mortified with a neighbor, my mother-in-law or even one of my parents were to go down there.  I didn't really like the neighbor kids even going down there cause it was MESSY!

That is when I changed.  I decided I could not and would not keep doing this.  I decided by the end of the Saturday night, the green room would be CLEAN.  SPOTLESS.

By the end of Saturday night, it was.  However I missed out on so much more.  I was too busy for breakfast with the family cause I only had a little bit until I needed to be at work.  I then worked and wasn't with the family.  I got off work and set back to work on that room and Ben had to beg, plead and guilt me into sitting with him outside for dinner.   The entire dinner my mind wouldn't stop reeling over what was left to finish that green room and get the house back to where it should be.  That 1 room had managed to mess up several others.

I did get it all done (and got to bed around 1230 am).  The thing is:  I missed out! I already had to work most of Saturday.  Then I spent the rest of the time stressing getting stuff done.

It's a double edged sword.  Not being able to go anywhere has really helped me get a LOT done in the house.  It has also lead to me not wanting to stop cause there is always so much to do.  My house is rather clean but to keep it this spotless all the time requires constant work and cleaning.  While that is great while the kids and Ben are gone, I can't let this be all we do when they are home!

How do I curtail this perfectionist desire?  How do I create a clean home (and work for me) environment without killing myself and always be thinking "oh I need to".  How do I shut my brain off and say, "It's ok to be done for the day!"?  Yes it will be here tomorrow but so will other things.  I just don't have enough time.

I think what was cabin fever has now turned to "clean it fever".  I just wish I could curtail it some.  I hate not being able to get anything done outside the house (i.e. running errands) until Ben gets home so it makes it that lots inside the house does get done!  I now know why houses in the 50's were always spotless...the mom's didn't have cars to run here and there so they had lots and lots of time in the house.  If you are spending 22-24 hours of your time 100% at definitely get it more clean!

I keep thinking, "Once I finish this, I can make it that I am not cleaning 24/7".  The problem is, once I finish that item, I think of 2 or 3 more to add to the list! 

For now though, I have some dishes to wash, some dinner to make and a floor to get mopped nice and shiny!

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