I have been a Debbie Downer BIG time lately. I have allowed life to get to me. I have allowed my hormonal changes to change my outlook on life to negative.
Last night I told Ben I wanted that to change and the only way for that to happen was for me to change! I am going to find things to be happy about and push aside the negative thoughts, feeling, emotions and outlooks in my life.
This is my new start. I am going to look for 1 thing every day and if it is a bad day, every hour of the day I am awake that makes me happy, that is good, that is wholesome, that is uplifting...1 thing that brings positive.
Today so far I have had a good day but I still have been looking on the bright side.
My first thought was the laundry. UGH. It is on the floor sorted and now I must put it away. Lyse's closet rod is broken so putting clothes away in her room is a pain cause they just fall on the floor, etc. etc.
That was how I started thinking then I changed it.
I know am saying, "wow Ben helped sort and start the laundry last night. I only need to change laundry from washer to dryer 3 more times and all our laundry for the week is completely washed! Not bad! Tonight, we are going to do some organizing and fixing (hopefully) and we should have Lyse's closet fixed.
I had to change my outlook. I am excited to have fresh laundry done and hopefully I can get it all put away (should be able to).
I know money plays a HUGE roll into outlook on life. Right now we are lucky cause Ben was able to drop dental and vision at his work and I have it at mine so we are saving about $50 month with that and then of course Ben and I working Sun Valley and then Ben in Vegas helped give us the boost we have needed for a couple months. I have a stronger and more sound outlook on life when we have a little cushion and when we have a little extra. I am still having to budget everything and really watch every dime spent cause honestly, we still have a super tight budget but right now I am looking at it and saying, "wow we have moved forward a lot and things are getting better...much, much better"
I have had so many miracles this week. The one day as I was stressing money and so much going on I felt like I was going to drowned in it all. Car broken, money gone, bills everywhere was my outlook. I knelt and prayed and said..."I need a miracle!" The miracle came and when it came and it hit me, I was truly humbled cause I KNOW the Lord was the one that sent that miracle. It came via others listening to the Spirit. It was a bigger miracle than they could ever know. As I was driving in the car and the miracle appeared and I thought about it, I was flooded with gratitude.
Miracles do exist! Sometimes it is as simple as asking. Other times it is as hard and wading through the trial and being patient and waiting...but when we ask they do come! Miracles are not always the big huge paycheck coming in. Miracles are sometimes the amazing sale at the store at the same time there are coupons all the while it is items you really needed in your home! I have experienced all the above. I am grateful for a Father in Heaven that sends me the miracles I need right at the time it is most needed. I am grateful for the people that are my "little miracles".
My goal in life right now is to start the new stage and step...the 101 Things To Be Happy About. There is always darkness and gloom and sometimes you feel it overpower you. I don't want that anymore. If I need hormone replacement drugs to help with that...I guess I might have to do that. Before I take that step though, I am going to work on the simple things. Finding my miracles. Praying for help. Reading my scriptures. HELPING those around me.
Life is too short to wish you were in bed cause you just don't want to live. My kids will be off to college in 8 years for Katy and 11 for Elyse. I only have those years to make them the best, happiest years for them possible so that when they are at college they WANT to come home and see their mom and dad! I need to do this so that Ben and I can have a happy home.