To go or not to go. I go back and forth DAILY!
One day I have it decided - we are going!
The next I say - ummmm hold your horses there girlie.
MOST days, I go back and forth between confirmed going to confirmed not going.
It is our 10 year anniversary and I have been able to work an amazing deal to go to Aruba! Yes, ARUBA (working for the airlines has some MAJOR perks).
The problem comes with the money.
Can I justify spending that money right now. We have a LOT (and I mean a LOT) going on financially. Do I dare spend that money when we might be needing it in a month or two?
Christmas is coming and FAST. What about that?
I get myself thinking and decide no, we will not go. It isn't the wise thing to do.
I kneel and pray and tell my Father in Heaven why we should go. I ask for guidance and direction to be wise and do the right thing.
I get up off my knees and I think about my marriage. I NEED to make it a priority. When I talk to Ben about going he always says how peaceful it sounds to getaway to a tropical destination, just him and me. So than I go back and say, "We are going!!"
I start planning and getting everything put together. As I plan I start looking at the money again. I plan and plan because well I am a planner. I get everything planned out and look at the money and I stop.
$300-450 will be the cost for the ENTIRE trip. Airfare, hotel, food, transportation, etc. My bet is we end up closer to 450 than 300. Can I really justify that much money?
I go back into justification mode. We will spend at least $100 here just going out to a nice dinner and movie. IF we do a room we are looking $150-200. If there is only $100-200 difference would MUCH prefer Aruba to Salt Lake City.
Than I stop and say, no we can just stay at our home, eat at a nice but inexpensive restaurant and just spend quality time together...I can keep it to under $100 easy.
And the circle goes round and round like that. Each time I justify the decision a different way.
Christmas, deposits, needing a car...that $300-450 can go a LONG way.
10 year anniversary, time to unwind and relax, putting our marriage as a priority. This too will go a LONG way.
In 6 months how will I feel about this? What about 1 year or 2 years from now?
I know myself well enough to know...if we stay home I will NOT take the time to solely focus on my marriage. I will have all the intentions to and we will make efforts but we will fall into our daily routines we have at home. Maybe go into this knowing that, so put a focus on making it a priority?
Last year, we had no money and I couldn't justify it, so we didn't go anywhere. We spend a total of about $40 on a matinee 3-D movie for Ben, Katy, Lyse and myself that the girls wanted to go to. We didn't go to eat, we didn't stay in a hotel. We didn't have money to do anything and since it was a choice of us or allowing the girls to see the movie they wanted (and honestly Ben and I wanted to see it too!) we had to make a decision and that was the one we made. It was a great anniversary; however, it was not a relationship building, stress reducing, regroup and re-strengthen anniversary.
I am not saying you have to go away to get that. I am thinking I NEED to do that though. I have considered doing Aruba for just 1 night. The problem is we would spend probably $250 for less than 26 hours in Aruba. Might as well spend the $100-200 more and get a LOT longer there.
Do I pull back and just stay home?
Do I go exotic and just go for it?
I can fly anywhere Jetblue goes...maybe I need to just be spontaneous and plan on sleeping in the air and fly back east and get Key Lime Pie from in the Florida Keys and Buffalo Wings from Buffalo NY, sourdough bread from San Fransisco and then fly back home? In reality though, all that food is going to cost money. All that time in the air is not going to be relaxing.
I want someone to give me the answer here. I know I am going to be judged either way. Which is worse being judged by family and others for not doing the prudent thing or being judged by your spouse for not putting a priority on your marriage and relationship?
Oh how I wish $2000 could drop in my lap so I would know how and where to put each money priority while at the same time allow me the ability to go to Aruba for a couple days and rejuvenate with the love of my life.
Truth be told, I am grateful to have him. Grateful that we have made it 10 years...to all those nay sayers...we made it a decade ;). I am grateful we have each other and I want to continue to love and cherish each other for many, many decades (and eternities) to come. I am married to my best friend. You can't ask for more than that! Just having a weekend with him, anywhere, seems like heaven right now. We have so little time together between his 2 jobs and my 1 that it will be nice just to be together. No work to worry about!
No our marriage is not in turmoil but even the best of marriages need time and rejuvenation. I feel ours is coming. We need time solely for each other. Time we can talk and it doesn't have to be about everything going on...it can be about that beautiful sunset or the amazing fish we saw or the calming sea and beach. So what do we do?
Frugal - dinner and maybe a movie $60
Frugal w/ hotel - $160
Extravagant - ARUBA $300-450
Yes I see the significant price difference too!
I guess I could always stay in UT, drive to Moab and spend the weekend camping and hiking. Truth be told, that would be just as much as flying to Aruba by the time you count gas to and from as well as food and everything else.
Ughh sometimes being a responsible adult sucks :)
Stay tuned. My decisions have not yet been made!! Aruba still might be in my near future!
Than again...maybe just home.