2 weeks ago I remember sitting and thinking, "wow it is nice to have so many things in the past and be moving forward in life."
A day later our cars oil sensor went out, followed by the dishwasher. A couple days later I spent more time than I would have liked in the ER and in pain ever since.
Maybe that past isn't as far as I would have liked!
I had Ben give me a blessing. I wanted so bad to hear I would be healed and my body whole yet I KNEW if he had said those words I would not have been able to believe and have faith cause in my gut I knew differently.
This is a trial that I am going to have to have strength to carry on physically and mentally (even when I don't think I can). I know I will grow from it.
When i was set apart for my calling I was awed by how the bishopric (even though they had NO clue of my prior health issues) blessed me with health to fulfill my calling. I sat there thinking, "The Lord speaks and people don't have to have prior knowledge to give a blessing as long as they are in tune".
When all this started my thoughts were, "I am ok cause I was blessed I could fulfill my calling". So far, this has not interrupted my calling at all. Even though I haven't had perfect health, I have still been able to fulfill my calling each Sunday.
I have such faith in the power of a priesthood blessing. I KNOW that our Father in Heaven has the ability to do anything through the priesthood and faith. Often I wonder if it is my lack of faith for the reasons I am here. When all this started 18 months ago, I was promised I would be healed and not have further complications.
I wish that blessing had been recorded cause I am sure it said something like, "you won't experience further complications right now" but I just remember the won't experience further complications and remembering the relief I felt. That blessing was given to me after the second stay in the hospital (the one with the bone marrow biopsy) not the first stay (with my intussusception).
I have faith. I know my life can be happy and fulfilled, even if I am sick. I think this trial is to teach me to be positive and happy even in tough times. I am worried though. How are we going to pay all these HUGE bills that are going to come our way? Why couldn't I just be healthy?