After posting can't be replaced today I had a HUGE reminder of the more important things in life!
My dear friend and her sister suffered the biggest loss you can suffer in this life...the loss of a child.
My heart is breaking.
I am at a loss of words.
My wedding ring can stay lost forever and that is ok. The only true things that can't be replaced is TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN, SPOUSES and LOVED ONES!
Life is so fragile...too fragile in my opinion.
I am grateful I have a pediatric dentist bill - it means my children have teeth that need taken care of.
I am grateful I have a laundry basket full of dirty pink clothes - it means I have my children to wear them.
I am grateful for a room that I can't keep the toys on the shelf and put away - it means I have children playing with the toys.
I hope this doesn't sound crass or out of place. I am absolutely HEART BROKEN for my friend and her sister. I also realize that life happens to easily. They can be here one minute and gone the next so make each and EVERY minute count for EVERYTHING.
That is my new goal - make each moment the best I can because there are too few moments in life!
I go to bed tonight regretting sooo much I wish I had done today for now today is over. My children and husband WILL have a different mom tomorrow and hopefully for the rest of forever because tomorrow is too short.
I am grateful for all the leftover toothpaste globs in the sinks -- it means my children are healthy enough to brush their own teeth.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for all the bickering the kids do all day long with each other -- it means they all have voices and individual personalities.
I am grateful for the HUGE laundry pile -- it not only means we are blessed with many children but also blessed with the finances to provide well for them all.
I am grateful that my husband works 24 hour shifts, sometimes days in a row -- it means he loves us enough to work hard so that I can be at home with the kids.
There are blessings in everything, and you are right - we need to make each moment the very best it can be. I, too, have days when I go to bed with regret; regret for what I didn't do that day, for moments I lost my temper or I might have forgotton to tuck someone into bed before they fell asleep. Or maybe I didn't read books to them today. Or maybe I didn't play with them. Or take them to the park or on a walk. I seriously got tired of feeling regret each night...and so now I have a list for EACH child. On it lists many things I need to do for that child to make him/her feel special. My goal is not to complete the entire list, but to have at least five things checked off each day. That way, I can look at that list and feel accomplished. I don't know, it might sound silly, but it's really helping!
I am so sorry to hear someone close to you has lost a child. I can only imagine that it is the worst kind of pain that there is, and my heart breaks for them, too :(
So sorry.
I read on your blog about your list and I thought it was such a great idea! I am going to try and start doing that...help the mommy guilt a little. I love the 5 things checked off on it rule because you could have a list a million miles long and never be able to check off more than 2 or 3 but making the list and having a goal of 5 makes it doable!
ReplyDeleteTauni... I just read this and cried. THANK YOU for everything! For coming to the funeral, for help with the preparations for it, for being there to listen, for being a good friend, for being you. Hug your babies tight because you never know when they'll be gone. What I'd give to just hold Akayla one more time.
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