I love a clean house and when I say love I mean LOOOOOOOOVVVE! My problem is that when I get down and depressed, getting and keeping it that way is hard. Once I fall behind it seems to be a pit that I can never crawl out of.
I fell into that pit right before going to Washington DC. I cleaned some and made sure the house was tidy but it wasn't spotless...it wasn't that deep down clean that I LOVE! When we left for DC I didn't have my house spotless, when we came home I didn't work towards spotless and it has just spiraled out of control from there.
A couple days ago I woke up to a realization of my situation. My job as homemaker was usurped but not only because of Ben loosing his job but because I CHOSE to give him the job and walk away from it. I still can choose each day to perform my normal tasks. I get a choice and that choice makes a BIG impact on how I feel about myself and my house.
My mood is strongly tied to the state my house is in and vice versa. When I am happy, my house is clean. When I am sad, my house falls apart at the seams.
I know my "fall apart at the seams" is a completely different meaning than what many would think. My fall apart is when my sink is not always empty; my floors not always swept, vacuumed and picked up; the bathrooms clean; rooms clean and the last and admittedly ODD closets and cupboards all cleaned out and organized.
I can't stand knowing a closet isn't put together, organized. I HATE it. It eats away at me until other things in my house start falling apart. It is as though everything doesn't have a place so instead of being put away it becomes cluttered.
A couple days ago I decided I was done. I went in and cleaned out the girls room. 4 bags of toys and a neat, organized room later, I started to feel better. Yesterday I got to work on the rest of the house. Today I worked on my room. I almost have my spotless house. It is no longer falling apart at the seams.
As I watch my house come together one closet and room at a time (yes I do this about every 2-3 months) I feel my life fall back into place. I can see a light, an improvement.
My life is not perfect right now but I am gonna try my hardest to keep my attitude (and in turn my house) in order. That brings me peace, and honestly I could always use more peace in my life!