Thursday, February 18, 2010

Been a while

Tonight I did something I haven't done in a LONG LONG time.

I applied for a job!

I was scared, nervous and wanted my husband to sit by my side and hold my hand while I filled out the application. How pathetic is that?!?! To reassure you, he didn't and wouldn't. He was fine with me applying and we would both be a bit relieved if I got the job; HOWEVER, he knew I needed to do it. He was helpful, supportive, kind and listened to all my "does this sound ok" blurbs.

Please pray for and with me on this job! We could really use it and this could really help us out a TON! It is a good job in that after training is over, I can work from home. I love that because when Ben gets a job, I could keep this for a while to help supplement or even better to help us get back on top of it all.

I am nervous. I am scared. I think I would like and enjoy this job. I KNOW I would like and enjoy the perks.

I love being a Stay at Home Mom and giving up that title would be hard. In the same sentence I also want to add that I don't feel like I would have to completely give up that title because even though I would be employed, I would be home. I would only be working part time and honestly, I could fold laundry and such while helping customers on the phone.

I worry if I were to get the job what I would have to give up. Would carpool still work? Would my kids get neglected? Would I have to work Sundays and loose my calling? These are all thoughts and concerns.

My other thoughts and concerns... We only have 8 weeks of unemployment left, we might get the emergency, we might now. We need to have some income to help cover expenses. Ben is working on getting a job but getting $12/hour job will not maintain this household. I want to pay my bills, I want to have some financial security.

My biggest fear of all is: am I following the Lord's plan for me and my family here or am I taking this all into my own hands and trying to make it work? This has been a HUGE one for me to contemplate, think about and stew over. In apply for this job that was the number 1 concern I had. I have decided that I am going to take all the opportunities put in front of me and do what I can with them.

This job opening was only open for 6 hours today. My application had to be turned in by 10 pm tonight. I decided to go for it. I am now putting the rest in the Lord's hands. If I am meant to leave my current position of Stay at Home Mom and enter the world of Customer Service, I pray the application will go through and the job be offered to me. If I am supposed to stay where I am and not get a job, I pray the application will be overlooked.

Please pray for the same with me! Pray that the Lord's will be done and I can accept that, whatever it may be!

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