Friday, April 16, 2010


My baby is going to Kindergarten Orientation today. I am struggling with the orientation...I have NO clue how I will make it through the starting of school in the Fall.

I always thought my baby starting Kindergarten would be after I had 4 or 5 other children start Kindergarten. I honestly had NO clue it was after only one other had started.

I want a baby. I hate feeling the desire, the need, the want and having no control over the addition. I know the Lord gave me this trial for a reason...but it doesn't make it any easier. Why can everyone around me be pregnant and announcing pregnancy right now? Why can't I get one?

Infertility just plain and simply SUCKS!!! I want another little arms, body and heart ache and yearn for another little one to love, cuddle and mother as he/she grows and develops.

I know the Lord has reason and lessons for each person on this earth. I know that each time we follow His will, our lives are blessed. I know He knows our hearts desires while at the same time knows what we can handle. I hope I can accept, follow and cherish His will for me!!!

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