In December Ben lost his job the week before Christmas. I was devastated. He was devastated. It was a REALLY hard time on us. A month later and still no job, we both had a feeling that we needed to look in the Washington DC area for a job for him. While we were searching and applying for jobs, we got a distinct feeling we needed to GO to DC for a job.
Making the decision to go was NOT an easy one. Being winter time, unemployed and trying to keep as much in savings as we could, it wasn't exactly the prime time to drive across the country. There was constant doubt of "what if's" a million miles long. We made the decision we would go and the Lord would bless us. I was TERRIFIED!
As we loaded up the car with a cooler, clothes and the girls, I had serious thoughts that we were just crazy. Once we were on the road, I pulled out my scriptures and we would read and discuss. Over and over again the story of Abraham and Isaac kept coming to my mind. I also had many close friends that I talked to along the way and each would bring up that exact story without me even mentioning it. I was moved by the faith of Abraham and his trusting in knowing it was the Spirit of the Lord speaking to him. I hate to admit it but I personally was struggling with "is this really the Spirit" questions.
The second day on the road, after we stopped at Winter Quarters, I felt very compelled to turn to 3 Nephi chapter 13. Verse 31 through part of 34 really hit me.
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
As I read this, the Spirit confirmed to me that we were doing what our Father in Heaven wanted. That moment in the car with Ben and my children was one of the most spiritual moments of my life. I KNEW that our Father in Heaven was in control of our situation, He was directing us, He was aware of us and that He was going to take care of us.
Ben didn't get a job but our trip to Washington DC was anything but wasted. We were and are continually blessed. Our family was able to spend time together and we were able to talk to our children a lot about the gospel, the pioneers and share our testimonies with them. For me personally, I gained an undeniable testimony that our Father in Heaven is very personally aware of our lives and the struggles we face. My testimony was strengthened in the Spirit's whisperings and that following them is never a waste, even if you don't gain what you think you should out of the experience. Whenever I start to stress or worry, my memories of that scripture will overcome me and I am reminded that our Father in Heaven is completely aware of us. And even though I am not physically present I feel as though I should end this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.