Monday, August 16, 2010

Do I dare?

I have found a situation in which our family could move into a house with a yard. The biggest problem would be it is a rent to own situation on the home. The house payment would be close to what we pay now and half of the payment would go toward the purchase of the home.

I hate that I would be going back to "renting" technically.

I LOVE that I would have a house with a yard for the girls to run and play in.

Of course we still have the condo but if we price it cheap enough I sure it would eventually sell.

I want a house. I want to be proactive in that search now.

I am tired of where I am at.

I think part of it is Satan but even the ward I LOVE is hard for me recently. I have "crazy lady" aka "public enemy #1" (P.E. #1)that thinks it is just fine to spout off and yell at me whenever she feels the urge. She has managed to yell at me 2 times in 2 weeks and make me feel like crap. First time was telling me that I was horrible in teaching my Sharing Time lesson...second time was telling me I was a bad mom for sending my children to public schools. Her yelling at me is really bothering me! I hate confrontation and would like to NOT have it in my life. I had a few years in which there was too much confrontation in my life...I have learned and grown and pray that I never go back there. I hate fighting, drama, etc. I like to keep things simple and keep the spirit in my life. I hate that I feel like I have to try and avoid P.E. #1 at church...but how on EARTH do you avoid someone at church when your calling is technically to be over them and help them in their calling? Yes I would move to avoid P.E. #1...especially since I don't foresee her going anywhere or changing any time in the future.

I hate that Katy and Lyse can't go to the school in the area. Carpool is all messed up this year and going to get more and more complicated as the years progress. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and have someone have to leave carpool so I would rather bow out; however, I don't want to drive to the school 15 times a week. To be completely honest I also worry that if carpool wasn't around my kids might be late for school. I make SURE because I am in charge of others' children to get them there on time...without that will I still have the strong drive to get the girls to school on time?

I am ready for more space.

So back to original - should I even be thinking or considering this move? You can see the reasons why I WANT it so badly! I HATE where I am at and what is happening around me. I feel as though I have no one that truly wants me in this area so why am I trying so hard. Everything seems to be soo difficult and hard in this area lately - church, carpool, space. Can I just give up and walk away from it all please?

1 comment:

  1. I still want you here! (And if I am thinking of the right person, PE #1 is just a little bit different to put it nicely. Doesn't make it any easier to take what is being said with a grain of salt.)