Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Modern Mom

**This post is a lot of rambling...I had a point I wanted to put out there but had a hard time doing so. In the end I think I got it out there...but basically it was just that mom's today have such different trials with their children. The biggest trial is that you loose them to technology so easy when a pioneer if they lost their child it was mortality...they didn't have the "things" in life to sweep away the time so easily. Anyway...just a bunch of rambles.**

Our ancestors had a lot asked of them but so do we. Last night in a dazed, sleepy fog I was thinking about the difference in a modern mom and the pioneer moms.

Pioneers had to get up in the morning and light a fire in order to be warm in their homes - they didn't have a thermostat that could be programmed for times of the day and what the temperature should be. (I don't either but at least I have a thermostat that I can turn up and have a warm house in a few minutes rather than trying to start wood on fire). For a warm breakfast they had to get out a pot and boil water over a fire. I like my microwave for oatmeal thanks! Forget a store for bread. That was a luxury. Kitchenaid Mixer to help mix the dough - um was all made completely by hand! Buy your meat in a section of the store all wrapped and ready to just take home and cook - forget it. You grow, kill, butcher and prepare meat all at home.

What about all those that made the sacrifice to cross the vast of America to "come out west"? They lived out of a covered wagon (if lucky) for MONTHS? I don't know about you but after a couple days of camping, I am ready for home, my bed and a shower.

So modern conveniences definitely make being a mom nice.

We also loose some things that those sweet moms had. They didn't have iphones, tv, radios and such to take their time. They didn't text a quick, "Be there in 5". They had to actually TALK to their kids.

I think I am doing great when I turn off the music and talk to my kids for a few minutes in the car or we sing along to the radio together. These mothers had the blessings of not having the radio. If there was music, it was because they sang together. Evenings were not spent curled up with kids watching a tv show, dad on his phone and mom on the computer. I try very hard to make our evenings time spent together but there are nights that the exact scenerio above are what happens. Yes we are all in the same room we are not interacting per se with each other. Wouldn't it be nice in some ways to have nothing but a fire, a piano or violin and a few good books in the house for entertainment? Think of the closeness your family would gain?
Don't get me wrong, I know it wasn't perfect for them. Also, I sometimes love the nights when we are together but each doing our own thing..but sometimes I wonder.

What actually made me think about this all was how we loose our children today verses how they loose their children. When they lost their children, the child died. We loose our children to TV, computers, sports activities, mom's working. Our time is taken every day from our children, just in different ways.

I am struggling being a working mom. I would do just about anything to just be a mom again. Not have work own me. Even when I am off work I have a hard time not checking email. When you work from home it's a lot harder leaving work at work. I am allowing work to take even my days off. I am trying to change it but it's not working well.

Everything has a season. Right now, my season, I am having to work. I loose time with my children but at least I am not having to bury my children.

These last few months I have taken an effort to really TRY to spend more family time together. I don't plan things over movie night (Friday night). The entire family looks forward to that night and snuggling in with a good movie and fresh popped popcorn snuggled on the couch together. We all love it!

Monday nights are family home evening. The night is spent as a family. This last week we went swimming. The week before that we read books together. Sometimes we play games. Sometimes we snuggle in to a show we all want to watch. No matter what, that night is known to all in the house as sacred family time. We always try to have a spiritual lesson for a few minutes but it is not a lesson then we are done and go our separate ways. The entire evening is dedicated to our family.

I hate that sometimes my work is the thing that has to divide us. I love just spending time with my husband and kids. My favorite time of the day is dinner time. The entire family is home and we are able to be together. I know it will not always be like this but I REALLY hope that my kids will want to bring their friends home for movie night on Friday night sometimes. I really hope that they will put off all things of the world on Mondays in order to make family home evening work. I hope they are bonding and loving this as much as Ben and I are.

I know my kids are growing up and fast. I wish I just had more time...but I think that is something that every mother wishes for...whether she is modern or if she was a pioneer. They just grow up too fast! Sometimes I hate being a modern mom with technology every where and I almost always hate being a working mom.

Once again though - Be ye content in whatsoever state you are in. I am content and happy that I have a home and I have my kids. I have a job that helps pay our bills and we get the added benefit of getting to travel every now and then! I am blessed with an amazing husband. I know that my Heavenly Father knows who I am and I am grateful for my Savior. I have an eternal family that I can never be more grateful for. I have my family and I have to be content with that big of a blessing!


  1. This post speaks to me in volumes! I understand exactly what you are saying here. Although I don't wish to do without the modern conveniences of today's times (I don't think I could ever do without a shower everyday, with hot running water!) I do envy the simple times without all the distractions that we have going on today. I always told myself, NO CELLPHONES for my kids! But...when the time came around that they were old enough to hang out with friends, play basketball down the street, go to the mall with girl friends....I was left without a way to contact them. (How in the world did my mother ever keep her sanity when I was young and I'd leave the house in the morning and not come home until dinner? Didn't she worry herself gray? I just can't do it. I have to know where they are, what they are doing, who they are with...) Anyway, I found myself getting them each a cellphone once they entered those preteen years. It gave my mind peace -- but yet, it was a trade off, see...because then the texting to friends started up. I thought about just not allowing them to text their friends, but then they'd be left out. In today's times, THAT is the "thing" -- and it's so very hard for me to not let them be a part of something that's fun and a way to communicate with friends. I do have to say "put your cell phone away" from time to time so that I can have my child actually THERE with us instead of sucked into some conversation with a far off friend. But then...I can't really say much about that, because how many times am I not fully THERE when I'm checking my email or looking at a blog, or whatever else I do on the internet? There are FAR too many distractions in this day and age that takes us away from being 100% present in our own home. My favorite days are rainy days because first off, I totally dig the rain and any storm that brings it on...but mostly I think I love the rain because it keeps my family home, for the most part. All sporting events are cancelled, and other "dates" that involved being outside. I love the Family Home Evening that the LDS families do each week. My best friend is LDS and I love the traditions that they have. I've tried to adopt the Family Home Evening into our own home, even though we are Catholic...but it just seems very hard to do when kids are in sports and some of them have practice that night. I feel like we are all going in different directions sometimes...and a part of me really desires to be in the pioneer days. That way of life appeals to me, in that regard. But not all that work! They had so much work to do, those pioneer women. I'm lazy, LOL. I guess, though, if I were born in that era, I would not be lazy. I could not afford to be! My family would depend on me. There would be no back up Pizza Hut just in case I didn't get around to cooking dinner that night!

  2. I agree on the modern conveniences of hot showers and warm beds! Also love the back up plans for dinner. I don't think I would have handled pioneer days all that well....other than the bread making. I LOVE to make bread!

    My oldest keeps asking for a phone and we keep saying, "You are 8, you don't need a phone" but I know that the time of saying that is starting to dwindle!

    As for Family Home is something I love but it is HARD to make it work. We have to plan activities around it. Such as, we don't sign the kids up for activities if they take place on monday every week. An occassional performance on Monday (like a dance recital ever 4 months) is ok...and that is our Monday activity but if it is constant we say no. I grew up in a home that didn't do Family Home Evening but I had a great friend that always did and I always wanted that in my home when I grew up. It is not easy to make work each week but I am so grateful for the unity it creates.