Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My job in life

You know sometimes you have a realization pop into your mind and you realize something you never thought. Like being your parents favorite. You either have all your kids thinking that they are the favorite or all of them pick 1 and say he/she is the favorite.

Parents love their children but sometimes they just connect and get along with one child more than another. Maybe it is because that one child is just more easy going or has a better temperament. It might be you hold same interests, hobbies or careers.

I have come to realize over the last few days and weeks that even if you aren't the favorite, you are still loved.

I often think I don't have a favorite child. I don't. I love each child for their individuality. However, on some days Lyse will claim Katy is my favorite and on others Katy will claim Lyse is mine. I connect with each of them in completely different ways because *gasp* they are completely different individuals.

Katy and I connect easier than Lyse and I do. I have to work for my relationship with Lyse. Katy is a child that is easier going than Lyse though. Lyse has her ideas of how things should go and when they don't go that way it can lead to disaster. I struggle with her fits.

On the flip side, Katy can be insanely jealous. Even mentioning that Lyse can do something and not saying Katy is just as good can lead to Katy having her feelings extremely hurt. Katy wants to feel loved. Lyse however has the biggest heart and love a child can hold but doesn't hold much on how others think of her. She gives the best hugs and she never assumes someone doesn't love her. Katy instantly feels unloved if you don't say, "love you back" when she says, "I love you". Lyse is more independent and not over needy in ways of showing love. If you give her a hug, that is enough.

The way to show each of my children love is so different, yet the same. Time. Lyse wants you to give her space but be there to watch when she wants to show her accomplishments. Katy wants you there and talking with her and to not be alone and thus she doesn't have to come find you to show you her accomplishments. In the end they just both want my time. Dividing it equally is the trick.

I don't have a favorite, but I have a favorite thing and character trait about each child.

I hope that I can be the type of mom that when I die, all my kids and grand kids (and hopefully great grand kids) think they were the favorite. I hope they won't point fingers and say, "You, you were the favorite". The worst would be for them to all point at the others saying that they were the favorites. If that was the case I would be a complete failure because then NONE of them would have felt the love that I hold for them. If all my kids and grand kids walk away feeling like they are the favorite, than my job is complete. They felt loved enough to feel as though they are the favorite. My time with them was about them. They knew I loved them. That, in the end, is my job.

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