The email came and the emotions that followed

Well today I got an email from Jetblue.

Yesterday they said that if you get to the background check and then pass the background check you have the job.

Today they asked for my information on the background check. Since I am not overly concerned about my background, I think I have the job.

Since the job hasn't "officially" been offered to me, I can't say for sure but I am fairly certain I will be starting on October 12 of this year.

It has been a day of mixed emotions. Tears of relief. Tears of sadness. It kills me to give up being a full-time stay at home mom but I know that I need to help provide for my family. I know this will NOT be an easy road but I do know that I am supposed to be on this path.

This job isn't going to provide riches but it will provide enough money for us to be able to cover our medical insurance premiums and food. We will FINALLY be able to get off food stamps (which I am really excited about). We won't have more money for food. We might even have less than the $211 for the 4 of us in a month but at least it will be out of our own pockets instead of the govt (i.e. the working class Americans).

Please pray for me! I am really struggling with this. I still have my hopes high but I am TERRIFIED at the same time that something will make this not work out and we really need it to. I hate that I will have to work M-F, 40 hours a week for 4 weeks. I hate that I am not going to be able to make it to all of my childrens' programs and events. I hate that someone else will control my time - my time that I usually spend with and for my children.

Even with all that, I am grateful!

I am grateful to a Father in Heaven that is fully aware of me and my family's needs. I am grateful He loves us enough to help provide a mean and way to live. I know His hand has been involved in this process. I am still concerned about Sunday shifts but I have faith and peace that He is in control. He has lead and guided me to this job and He wants me to church on Sundays as well so I know a way will be provided...I am going to just have to work hard and make the sacrifices needed to get to church on Sundays.

I am grateful for President Boyd K. Packer's message that I got on facebook today.

"I bear witness of the power of the priesthood given to the Church to protect us and guide us. And because we have that, we have no fear of the future. Fear is the opposite of faith. We move forward, certain that the Lord will watch over us, particularly in the family." Pres. Boyd K. Packer May 2010

Each and every time I read that I KNOW my Father in Heaven is very personally aware of my situation. I hate that I have to go to work and leave my children. I hate that I no longer will be following the guidance of the Prophets in asking moms to please try and stay home; however, I do know that our situation is dire. This is not a job to gain luxuries...this is a job to maintain needs - shelter, food and clothes. I am grateful for Pres. Packer's wise words reminding me that the priesthood is here to protect and guide us, especially in the family.

I hope and pray my children will not be negatively affected. I hope that this doesn't make them think that when they get married they should leave their children and work. I want them to know that the most important place a mom can be is in the home, raising her children. Our desire for a house, another car and traveling are wants and they are not more important than being there for your children. Unfortunately, our situation is a needs. We need to be able to pay our utilities, medical and for food. I hope and pray my girls will see my love for them in doing this and know it is not easy but it is for them!!!